Einstein - a man of style and genius.
It’s easy to let life pass you when fun is expensive. But let’s face it, you’re not broke. If you’re single, don’t have any kids yet, and are without any outstanding legal fees you’re probably not that bad off. Sure you may have a small fortune of student loans to pay back, but doesn’t everyone? It’s probably less that you are “broke” and more that you are depressed about not being rich yet so you are taking it out on your social life by staying in and saving money. Stop being a Scrooge and pry open that wallet and pull out a $20. (No more than $20 because, hey, let’s be responsible) There’s a lot you can do for just 20 bucks. Here’s 20 off the top of my head:
(I want to start this off by saying that most of these things are gonna be better with a partner-in-crime. So, find a buddy who also a baller on a budget or an attractive friend of the opposite sex who’s down for a cheap date.)
1. Get on your bikes and ride!
For less than $20 you can fix that flat tire that has kept your bike in storage for all these months, and then take it for a ride. Find some free attraction (parks, monuments, historic spot where fill-in-the-blank got shot) and ride there. A new tube for your tire should be less than $10, so use what’s left to stop for ice cream of a couple beers.
2. Field trip!
In grade school the best days were field trip days. It was mostly because it broke up the monotony of school, but that sounds exactly like what you need right now. Don’t pretend like you’re too mature to have fun with dinosaurs and ancient Egyptians. Break up the monotony of your life and go learn something in a fun way. You may think that because you’re an adult you can only go to the museum when they have special events with $100-a-plate dinners, but, deep down, we all want to go play with the interactive waterworks exhibit.
3. Just drive
Ok, yeah gas is expensive, but you can still get a decent amount for $20. Fill up your gas tank and drive without directions or purpose. A few intentional wrong terms and you’re bound to stumble upon something new.
4. Catch a game
It’s summertime and that means baseball season. Grab some nosebleed tickets to an afternoon game for under $20 and enjoy the sights and sounds of the ballpark as well as the great weather. Plus, by the end of the game the ushers really don’t care about checking tickets, so sneak up and find an empty seat up close.
5. Chow down
If you’ve been trying to stick to a budget (or worse a diet) you probably haven’t been having a lot of fun eating cheap food lately. Going out to eat at a nice sit down place is probably out of the question, but find an all you can eat place and feast. Break all rules of common decency and eat until you belt is so tight you’re carving out a new hole in your belt loop with a steak knife. Gorge on all the things you would normally avoid and work out tomorrow. And the best part, you don’t even have to clean up afterwards. Leave your heaping pile of plates and scraps on the table and head home to fall into a food coma.
6. Go to a matinee and bring a big purse
This plan only works if you have a cool girl or are cool girl yourself. Bring her biggest old purse that she doesn’t mind smelling like fast food, and load it up with your favorite dollar menu items. Instead of paying for concession food and nighttime prices catch the afternoon showing with a purse full of chicken sandwiches.
7. You’ve got twenty I’ve got twenty, let’s drink
It wasn’t long ago that you were in college and the solution to everything was more drinking. This one more than any of the others requires a partner because drinking alone is just sad. $20 isn’t enough for a night out clubbing, but it’s definitely enough to spice up a boring saturday afternoon. Find a friend, grab a 24 pack each and something stupid to occupy your drunken minds. I would highly suggest a kiddie pool, frisbee, or pong balls and solo cups. Those days don’t have to be over yet.
8. What the hell is a book?
You can never go wrong with an investment in yourself, so find one of those book stores you keep hearing the hipsters talking about and expand your mind. Read something you wouldn’t normally think about. Read a little Pablo Neruda poetry so you can learn how to romantically tell you next date that you only have $20 to spend on her.
9. Arts and crafts time
Remember how fun that used to be when we were younger? It still can be. I’m not talking about finger painting blue ducks. You can still do arts and crafts like a grown up. Paint your place with new colors and designs to spice up the blandness. Spray paint something cool on a shirt and when your friends are impressed by your dope design tell them you’ll make them one for a small fee. Spend money to make money!
10. Buy some brownie points
If you’ve been cheap lately because you think you can’t afford to do anything fun you’re probably not the only one in your social circle doing that. Do something for a friend or significant other that they have been putting off for themself. It can be a small gesture, but the gesture will be worth so much more than the twenty bucks or less you spend on them. Fix their bike tire if yours are fine so that you can both go on a ride or take them to a movie and tell them it’s your treat. It always feels good to do something nice for someone else, and they will appreciate it and feel more loyalty to you as a friend because of it.
For some men, the solitude found in their personal man-cave or under the hood of their car is enough to allow them to cope with the madness of the rest of the world. But, not every man can get by on so little. Some men need their entire home to be a harmonic balance of comfort and nature; a rugged retreat from society. ‘Log cabin’ hardly encapsulates the grandeur or manliness of the following houses, but it’s the closest name for them. If a single room can be called a man-cave, these houses should be considered man-mountains.
Don’t forget to download DragNSync today.
“How embarrassing to be human.” -Kurt Vonnegut
Truer words might’ve never been spoken. We are the only animal on this planet intelligent enough for creative, original thought, yet we are also the only animal insecure enough to feel embarrassment. We’ve all had our share of awkward moments, but, fortunately, the majority of them are only witnessed by those in our immediate surroundings. London Mayor Boris Johnson wasn’t so lucky.
Known to be a bit eccentric, Boris took to the skies to promote the London Olympics with a daring ride down a zipline. With a devil-may-care smile, he bravely leapt off the platform, proudly clinging only to two Union Jack flags. Flying high over his countrymen, flags chopping in the wind, Boris was doing all that he could to bring glory to Queen and country.
All was going as planned until he began to noticeably decelerate around the halfway point and eventually come to a crawling stop still 65 feet from the end of the line. As Boris hung there awkwardly, flags gone limp, his smile was now an abashed look of bemusement as he stared down at the ever increasing crowd.
It’s bad enough that this happened in front of a large crowd and that he is a public figure, but happening at the event with the most media coverage on the planet ensured that his moment of embarrassment would spread to all corners of the globe. Although he didn’t quite stick the landing, Boris kept his composure and was able to make light of it with the crowd as he awaited rescue.“This is great fun but it needs to go faster,” he joked. Less than ten minutes of dangling like an awkward diplomat-piñata, and he was tugged to safety by grounds workers. Maybe not a performance worthy of a gold medal, but we felt that Boris at least deserved the consolation prize of being DragNSync’s Clown of the Week. Cheers, mate!
Here is the video of Boris’ zipline mishap.